So last weekend (the long but still not long enough weekend) was card free. I flew into Kamloops Friday to visit my Mom who lives near Salmon Arm. We had a fun weekend, and being the good son that I am, I took full advantage of her generosity by leaving her fridge dry and empty. She recently moved, and I turned out to be the lucky recipient of some pimp new to me leather couches. I rented a U-Haul truck to make the trek back. I had no idea what I was in store for. Turns out these lean, mean, V8 powered, AM/FM radio equipped machines are quite the hit with the female variety. I was overwhelmed by enthusiastic waves from ladies while they pressed their chests up against the window and whizzed by me in the passing lane. Even this silver fox in a motor home pulling a Ford Taurus took a shining to my ride. She blew me a kiss and flashed her tan colored brassiere. I played it cool though. I just gave her the "hang loose" wave out the open window in my bright orange Ocean Pacific muscle-T with Classic Rock FM cranking.
The U-Haul adventure did not end on the #1, however. Along my journey Katy sent me a text and asked how the big bad U-Haul was treating me, so I told her about my encounters along the TransCanada. Obviously, she needed to see this magical unit for herself. Once I got the couches unloaded with Q's help, and took my now ex-futon over to his place I figured I should swing by Katy's. I crept up slowly (with my lights off, of course) to her front door as she came out to meet me, and she was obviously impressed. Not having the will power to resist, she jumped in the cab before I was even able to come to a stop. We proceeded to cruise the alleyways of Kensington, running over any curbs we felt were an inconvenience and slowly creeping up on unsuspecting pedestrians. It's surprisingly difficult to dodge potholes when navigating the big V8 down alleys. It's a good thing we weren't delivering chandeliers.
Apparently it was monsoon season in Calgary last week. I think we got approximately 17 feet of rain, give or take. I only rode the bike once, and despite it being great poker weather, only got in one session of cards. Made a decent run in a $109 turbo with about 160 people in it. Finished 6th for just over $700, which didn't actually put me up a whole bunch overall so it's hardly blog worthy. Figured I'd just toss it in there since I'm lacking stories of poker glory in this post.
This past weekend I took in 2 birthday celebrations. On Friday was Darcy's. She was a trooper, and even gave her best effort at a muff dive shot. Well, at least she thought it was a shot. The sly waitress decided to leave the shot out, and let her fish around for it when really she was just getting a face full of whip cream. Good times were had by all. Especially this fella, who appeared to be a very eligible bachelor and was certainly not scared to work it out there. I took video so us guys can take notes:
On Saturday was Jenn H's celebration which also proved to be a very good time. Hit up the Local 510 pub on 17th. Was a good turnout, the section Jenn had reserved for the party got swallowed up fairly quickly by mobs of people. After shutting the place down, we headed down 17th in search of some healthy eats. Since the lineups at Tubby Dog and The Poutinery were far too long for our stomachs to handle, we continued on to find some grade C pizza. Along the way, we discovered what appeared to be some long climbing straps laying bunched up on the sidewalk. Naturally we were all intrigued by this discovery, so we adopted them figuring they would come in handy somewhere along our journey. Sean discovered in the pizza place that they were best suited for a lasso. After futile attempts to lasso a bottle of hot sauce from the neighboring table, he took his skills to the street in an honest effort to lasso us some cabs. He was briefly distracted by a young girl running across the street, and attempted to lasso her as well. As Sean explained it this morning, her friends across the street noticed what was developing and yelled "don't you lasso her!" as the infamous Saltwater Cowboy twirled his lasso. His efforts eventually paid off, and he lassoed us all some cabs.
Needless to say, I was a bit groggy on Sunday after the two late nights. Around 3pm I entered a few poker tournaments but I felt about as sharp as playdough. I did not last very long in these tournaments, and did not enter any after that realizing my brain was clearly not functioning properly.
Till next time, keep fit and have fun! (Advice credit: Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod)
Josh
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